What Not to Do at Your Political Convention

I'm forcing myself to sit through the Republican convention. David Brooks is trying to tow the party line but his heart is not in it. Brooks knows the republicans are screwed. The energy level of the convention itself is so low, it is sucking energy out of the PBS commentators.
Here are my observations so far.
1) When Laura Bush is giving a speech even though it is boring as sin, don't cut to a 65+ year old veteran yawning.
2) When George Stephanopoulous is sitting with his back to the seats in the auditorium, make sure the seats are full. It's not good when the stadium looks like a Tampa Bay Devil Rays game.
3) You know your treasonous VP is in bad shape when the only thing of substance Mr. Low Energy Fred Thompson has to say about her is that she can field dress a moose.
4) Schedule more exciting speakers than Laura Bush, George Bush, Joe Lieberman, Fred Thompson.
5) Try to mention something besides POW, POW, Maverick, POW, and POW.
6) The first step in recovery is acknowledging you have a problem. When 10 Republican Senators and Schwarzenegger decide to ditch the entire convention your party has a problem.
7) Hire some sales people from Abercrombie & Fitch to mingle in the crowd. The republican crowd is too old and too white.
8) Stop saying "Country First" when your Vice President has ties to a party trying to secede from the Union.
9) How did Gore ever pick Droopy the Dog as his Vice Presidential nominee.
10) Who's the old guy sitting in the front I keep hearing saying YEAH! Moving him from the mic and just buy a laugh tract.
11) Is Hacksaw Jim Duggan at the convention? I keep hearing spontaneous chants of U-S-A, U-S-A
12) When ever commercial break is a promo about investigative reports concerning the VP nominee, Republicans have no chance of winning.
13) More Michael Moore jokes! Nothing cracks up a room of Bill O'Reilly viewers than Michael Moore jokes. Explain your MM joke too in case there are really old imbeciles in the crowd.
14) Chuck Schumer is going to cut your balls off Droopy the Dog.
15) All the Alaska Delegation, strangely kept saying "Sarah Palin is better than Cats."
16) Oh fuck, riot footage. Ever thought that if nobody shows up to a convention than no one will know it happened. What the hell is protesting accomplishing at this point? The republicans are doing a stellar job imploding by themselves. Go protest Pelosi and Reid, it will accomplish more.