Witty Comebacks Just Aren't Our Strength

I shouldn’t watch the 9 pm news on channel 30 on Friday nights. It pisses me off. I’m sitting there watching the news and I’m actually in a good mood because some dumbass at the X-Games launches himself 5 stories in the air and crashes to ground while flapping his arms like a bird. Then a story comes on about Herenton’s new campaign slogan “Shake the haters off.” Not exactly raising the political discourse, but something to be expected from a candidate who is going to get 38,000 votes and not trying to reach out from his base. What drove me nuts was Morris’ and Chumney’s response. The TV crew went to their campaign headquarters to interview them about the slogan. The candidates had time to think about a rebuttal and you know what they came up with, NOTHING.

First the TV crew asks Morris. He says he doesn’t know what that means. First rule of politics, when you are in a hole stop digging! You looked like the stiffest and most boring guy in Memphis, and it looked like Herenton punked you out again. Here’s a piece of advice, if what you are going to say in an interview reinforces the negative frames about yourself, don’t do the interview. Morris, don’t you have people to help you with public statements. Oh yeah, they’re all boring white, republicans from east Memphis. The same people who gave you the advice to take a drug test. What is that crap? It’s a cheap stunt that smelled of desperation. News flash Morris and Chumney, neither of you are running against Herenton. He has his 38,000 votes. No drug test, no debate challenge is going to change that 38,000. Morris and Chumney, you are running against each other. The higher the voter turnout the better it is for you both. One of you has to get 38,001 votes.

But back to the news story. Channel 30 then goes to Chumney for her comments. Here is your chance to say something funny. It’s a big giant meatball hanging up there for Chumney to hit over the fence and she’s had plenty of time to come up with something. You can do it Chumney. It’s all there for you and it’s free media. What does she do? She says “No Comment.” You didn’t read that wrong. “No fucking Comment.” Jesus Christ, within two seconds my friend said “If only we could shake Herenton off.” That’s your line Chumney, but you blew it! No one goes on TV to say “No Comment” unless they are being indicted. In every voter watching, this question sprang to mind. “If you don’t have an opinion about a mayor with 35% approval dissing the other 65% of the electorate, why are you even running for office?” That doesn't exactly inspire people to go out and vote for your leadership. And you wonder why you only have $32,000 in your campaign.

Now I understand Morris and Chumney have a problem. When AC had his big announcement that he’s not running, it sucked the energy out of the electorate and people have resigned themselves to Herenton winning re-election. You have to re-energize the electorate and engage each other. For the love of God do something creative or exciting.